Bombay Dreams (2002 original London cast)

Without being too elitist about it, when the name of Andrew Lloyd Webber crops up anywhere near a project it's a fairly safe bet that its going to be a crowd-pleasingly anodyne collection of saccharine-sweet tunes; i.e. not really too challenging. The man may have single-handedly saved the West End with his string of tourist trapping musical fripperies but hey, money isn't everything. If you caught the recent furore surrounding the premiere of Bombay Dreams you may have been fooled into thinking that this is ALW's project alone. So it comes as a pleasant surprise when it turns out that the music was, in fact, written by classically-trained musical polymath A R Rahman. Until you actually hear it however...

Based on Meera Syal's book of the same name and with lyrics written by Don Black, Bombay Dreams seems hell-bent on transferring Mr Lloyd Webbers formula to the sphere of world music. Quite obviously, a soundtrack album devoid of the stunning dance routines and cod-Bollywood stage sets that convey the story is bound to be somewhat contextually adrift, but in this case the gap could be measured in light years. At least with Rodgers and Hammerstein or Leonard Bernstein the songs were strong enough to stand alone.

Rahman's string arrangements are sumptuously Asiatic, to be sure, and the production fuses east with west in often seamlessly post-modern fashion. Breakbeats meet pounding drums. Sweeping string sections underpin bubbling synths and at times on songs such as "Ooh La La" (top title, by the way) the sensuous mix becomes almost exotic enough to fool the listener. Yet, this being a musical, these soundscapes cannot come without vocals. Bolted onto the sparkling music are performances that never seem to know to which continent they belong. Stage school karaoke clashes with bhangra and the results are not pretty. Maybe it's because they have to deliver lyrics that sometimes defy description. "Contradictions, city of extremes, anything is possible in Bombay dreams. Some live and die in debt, others making millions on the internet." No, really...

Worst offender here is the single sung by star Preeya Kalidas, "Shakalaka Baby". In a shameless attempt to appeal to the supposed 30 second attention of under 25s a vaguely garage rhythm accompanies pearls of wisdom such as: "Saw your face and the damage was done, you weaved (sic) a spell that took me over. I found a bolt right out of the sun, I'd love to send it supernova". And so it goes.

The real disappointment is that someone with as much talent as Rahman seemed unable to break the free of his producer's spell and produce something that really did translate the glamour of Bollywood onto a West End stage. In fact a vast amount of talent seems to have been wasted in giving us just another one for the tourists.